Life we live
by dead to life
Summary: But then my world came crashing down. She had someone, someone already there. This is my story, my life as Naruto Uzumaki. Please R&R, A naru/saku fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Life we live

Life, what is life. Is it love, friends, or is it loneliness? What is it, we go day after day, and never do we stop and just ask, what is life. Some of us just know, we know why we wake up in the morning, to walk through the day making sure we miss not once of that something that makes life perfect. But those who live in loneliness, feel as if no one understands them. Alone, just alone, some may even have friends, but feel misunderstood. It hurts, hurts to feel alone, in life. I would know, it has all happened to me. I live for my friends, no matter what I would give my life for them, in a blink of an eye. But, even then I feel, loneliness. I never understood why, I just did. But it all began to change, when she appeared in my life. I wasn't sure at first, but I noticed I slept more, truly smiled. Truly smiled, I think that's when I started realizing, I fell for her. And I never really noticed. But as time went on we became close friends, I would like to say even best of friends. And every time I was around her I felt, happy. And as time goes on we relies we have more in common then we thought, coming up with random subjects to talk about. But then, my world came crashing down. She had someone, someone that truly makes her smile, truly laugh. For when I found out, my mask came back on. I can no longer truly smile but I will always try, try to find my light to lead me. This is my story, my life as Naruto Uzumaki.


	2. last night of summer

Last night of summer

On the last night of summer, a blonde hair, blue eyed teen sat on his orange futon with an Xbox controller in his hand and a red monster energy drink in his lap, with a cell phone to his ear.

"come on, come on Shikamaru answer your damn phone" He said frustratingly, while playing call of duty 4.

"Hello" a bored tone came through the phone.

"finally, I was beginning to think you didn't want to answer my call"

"why would you think that sensei: he said in mock tone voice.

"stop calling me that!" he yelled into the phone as he knifed someone.

"sorry, anyway why did you call me up at 12:00 a.m. Naruto?" Shikamaru yawned into the phone.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders " I couldn't sleep, and I figured you being a friend and all, I thought you would talk to me."

"Well taking into consideration I'm your best friend, I would." he answered, with another yawn.

Naruto dropped his shoulders. " I feel a but, coming."

"But we have school tomorrow, first day as a sophomore remember."

Naruto looked down at his liver killing drink in deep thought.

"Nah, I think your wrong, school doesn't start till like august 26th" he said with a smile.

Shikamaru "sighed" into the phone. "that's today, if you don't believe me check your calendar on your phone, I'm going back to sleep, goodnight." As Shikamaru hangs his phone up, you could hear Narutos rants on the other end of the line.

Naruto slumped his shoulders again when he heard the buzz of the hung up phone.

"Ah whatever, he was distracting me from getting my last achievement on this stupid game anyways." Immediately after those words left his mouth, he was gunned down.

With his eyes wide, and mouth hung open he throws the controller on the ground and turns off his TV and Xbox. " Ah, I didn't want to play anymore anyway." he took one last drink of his liver killer, before trashing the now empty can.

"huh, wonder if there's anymore, in my mini fridge?" he shrugs his shoulder and opens the fridge, with nothing in it. Dimmit!"


	3. FIRST DAY, BACK IN ACTION

FIRST DAY, BACK IN ACTION!

"Naruto, Naruto time to get up" a soft voice whispers in Narutos ear.

"No, No leave me alone" he yells while shaking his head back in forth on his pillow.

"but if you don't get up you'll be late" it whispered again, while rubbing his cabella.

( for those who don't know that is the place above the nose )

"late for what?" Naruto asks with a groan of annoyance.

The face of the whispering voice moves closer to his ear, and whispers. "breakfast"

Narutos eyes shoot wide open. "breakfast, that's it! you've been whispering in my ear, and bothering while I was sleeping just to tell me I am going to be late for breakfast!" he yells out in anger.

Then realization dawned on him. " who, who are you, some sort of creeper trying to sneak a peak while I sleep." he shudders at the last part.

"your big sis Sakami!" the figure yells right in his face as the lights flash on.

Naruto looks at her with a twitching eye, and a low "growling" sound coming from his throat.

Sakami pulls off the mask with a frown. " why the hell cant I scare you. You never get scared anymore" she says with a pout.

"well, take it as a good thing" he answers with his eye still twitching.

"why?" a curios Sakami asks.

"because, must mean your not that ugly, well with the mask on that is. God knows that if you didn't have that on I would have definitely wet my self screaming like a girl." Naruto laughed out.

"Ah, you ass-hole!" Sakami yells while swinging her fist at his head.

Naruto blocks the strike with his forearm. "What's your problem, you can dish but you cant take, that it."

Sakami glares " you get all big and buff, and you become the karate kid!" Sakami growls out.

"Shh! We don't want people to know do we." he said in mock tone.

"whatever, mom says get up, summer is officially over, school starts today." she said with a evil look.

"God, Shikamaru wasn't lying" Naruto cries out.

"Oh, why are you here anyway, and is your man Gin here as well?" Naruto asks climbing out of his couch bed, after he composed himself.

"No he's not, and me and mom are going to look for a wedding dress for me" A now day dreaming Sakami answers.

"Oh boy, sounds like a blast!" Naruto yells with face excitement.

" whatever just hurry up and get dressed, mom needs you to take the others with you" she said bitterly.

Thirty minutes later…. " Hurry up! Its not that hard to grab your bag and go." Naruto yells to his brother and sister.

Ten minutes later… " shut up you two I'm trying to drive here!" he yells over the bickering of his passengers.

Fifteen minutes later… " oh my god I have never been so glad to be at school, to get away from the yelling." Naruto cries for joy. As he makes his way towards the school building.

"Alright freedom high, I may have not been prepared for school today but, Narutos back in action." Naruto yells in his mind.

With the shake of his head, he heads into the building to find his friends.


	4. Friends, new and old

Friendship, new and old

As Naruto makes his way down the hallways of freedom high all around you, every where you look. Friends where huddled by lookers comparing, and complaining about the classes they were in, some waited by there first class so they could get the best seat. And others just made there way outside, or the lunchroom. And the cafeteria, which was recently built for more room was where Naruto was headed to find his friends.

"I hope everyone's here so I don't sit by myself." Naruto says to himself as he makes his way down the hallway.

Naruto makes it to the double doors leading into the cafeteria, and in it was full of new and old students. Eating breakfast, or chatting with friends. Naruto squints his eyes so he can get a better look around the cafeteria, so he can spot his friends.

"must be sitting in the very back of the lunchroom" Naruto mumbles to himself, as he walks towards the back looking around for his little group.

"ah there you are Naruto, I was wondering when you'd show up!" An oh so familiar voice yells from behind.

Naruto looks at the table behind him to see a girl with dirty blond hair that goes a little past the shoulders, standing up looking at him with a smile. And sitting around her was Shikamaru, Ino, and Sai, all chatting about their summer. Well beside Sai who just listened in.

Naruto puts on his best smile and walks over to take a seat at the table. " Hey guys" Naruto says while taking his seat. " You guys have a great summer?"

Ino shook her head yes with a small smile on her face. " yeah my summer was pretty good" she said with glee.

Sai just shrugged his shoulders and laid his head down on his bag.

Temari smiled excitedly " My summer was great, but I'm glad to be back"

Naruto gave Shikamaru a quick glance only to notice him giving Temari a sideways glance. Naruto just smiled at that. " well that's good I'm glad everyone had a fun summer." Naruto said

" well how was your summer, you haven't said anything about yours yet?" Temari said with an over excitedly voice.

Naruto just looked down at his hands on the table. "Mine was… My summer was ok, but nothing to special." He said quietly. " but yeah, I'm defiantly glad to be back as well." Naruto said with a smile.

RRRRIIIINNNNGGGG! The first bell of the day went off, signaling the official start of the new year, and the start of everyone's first class.

Everyone immediately got up from the lunch table and made their way to their scheduled classes. But Shikamaru, and Naruto.

Shikamaru gave Naruto a nudge to the shoulder, to wake him from his daze. " come on, we have biology 1 with Mr. Hatake together right?"

Naruto looked at the front of his binder and shook his head yes. " yeah I have it first hour" Naruto said as he got up from the table. He and Shikamaru started to make there way down the crowded hallway to the opposite side of the school, so they could get to class. Once there they immediately took the first two open desks so they could sit by each other. Everyone inside the classroom was chatting loudly to one another until the bell rang to start the class. Mr. Hatake walked in right after the bell rang and stood in front of his new class.

" No this is not how I am having my class sit." Mr. Hatake said shaking his head. He pulls out a piece of paper with everyone's name, for his seating chart. " ok Shikamaru, I want you here in the front roll on the left side of the classroom." he said looking at the paper and pointing where he wants him to sit.

Shikamaru gave me a quick glance and shrugged his shoulders, and moved to his assigned seat.

Mr. Hatake watched Shikamaru take his seat before moving on to the next person. " ok I want… Sakura, in the same roll as Shikamaru, but in the last desk."

Sakura stood from where she was sitting perversely, and made her way towards her new seat.

Naruto watched as Sakura walked around the desks to take her new seat. As she took her seat he just zoned out looking in her direction, he was so zoned out he wasn't even aware his name was being called.

"Naruto!" the person sitting in front of me yelled.

"What?" Naruto said with annoyance.

" Mr. Hatake said your new seat is two down and one over" He said aggravatingly.

" whatever." Naruto said getting out of his desk and moving to the other. As he took his new seat he looked over to where Sakura was sitting again, he " sighed" tiredly and took his seat and rested his head on his arms while his teacher went over the student hand book.

RRRIIINNNGGG! The bell signifying the end of first hour went off and students pilled into the hallways. Naruto and Shikamaru waited for everyone to leave before they grabbed their bags and headed towards the door, and into the chaos in the hallways.

"Well I guess I will see you at lunch then right?" Shikamaru asked.

" Yeah, I guess." Naruto said like his day just hit rock bottom. Shikamaru gave him a smile and waved before walking off to his next class.

Naruto stood there in the middle of the hallway before making his way towards his locker. " I just want lunch to be here already" he said as his stomach made a "Growling" noise. He slammed his locker shut and made his way towards his next class.

TIME SKIP: LUNCH TIME.

RRRIIINNNGGG! The bell went off for the fifth time for the day, for students to make there way towards the cafeteria.

"FINALLY!" Naruto yells in his head, as he speed walks towards the lunchroom. "Please be something good, please be something good." he chanted to himself loudly. He makes it to the lunchroom, to find them serving corn dogs. " WHAT! That's a last day of school lunch." He said with a frown, so he pulled out his wallet to see if he had any money. So he could just buy pizza off the white tray.

"yes five bucks is all I need for some pizza and fries!" Naruto yelled excitedly, as he makes his way towards the white tray line.

Five minutes later; "Uh I'm so freaking hungry I cant wait to find the table and eat." Naruto said as he looked around for the table his friends would be sitting at.

"Naruto! Naruto, over here" Temari, and Ino yell simultaneously, from the same table they sat at that morning.

Naruto makes his way towards the table with his tray of pizza and fries, and plops down right beside Shikamaru.

" so how's everyone's morning?" Temari asked with a big smile.

"Eh its been ok I guess." Naruto said with a tired yawn. He looked over towards Shikamaru, and sees him staring at Temari as she talks with Ino about something that happened in one of there classes. So Naruto nudged him in his side and gives him the signal to try and talk to her.

Shikamaru just shook his head no and went back to eating his pizza. Naruto just "sighed" and was about to take a bit of his pizza when he remembered something. " Hey Temari, Ino, do you know a girl named uh." He looks over to Shikamaru for help. " she's in our first hour class, she sits like right behind you."

" You mean Sakura?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.

"yeah, yeah that's it. that's her name Sakura." Naruto said with a smile.

"Yeah, we know her, why do you want to know?" Temari asked.

" Well I don't remember her from last year, she new or something?" Naruto asked with a confused look.

"No she's not new, she ran track last year, and me and her hung out a little. Seriously, Naruto its not hard to remember someone you know." she said with a disappointing look.

"Its not my fault I just have trouble remembering names and stuff. And plus I only talked to you guys last year, not really any one else." Naruto said with a pout.

" whatever just eat your lunch and shut up." Ino says with a smile that says, You better do as I say or I will stab you with my fork.

"alright whatever, I'll shut up" and Naruto went back to eating his pizza.

_**Fourth chapter up, please R/R **_


	5. SAVED BY THE BELL

SAVED BY THE BELL.

After lunch, the day went by pretty quickly, the rest of his classes where easy considering they didn't have to do any work on the first day. Other than stand up in class and tell something about them selves. But other than that he used this freedom to take naps in his classes. So as the school day ended he went straight home and into his bedroom, and changed in some more comfortable clothes to start his workout.

" ok, let me see… alright one hundred and twenty five push ups, four sets. Arnold dumb bell presses, and then I will work my abs." He said as he got a bottle of water ready. " maybe I should work my shoulders to… yeah I will." he said after making it back to his room. " ok here I go let the workout commence!" he said egger to get his workout done.

One hour later: "alright… that was a workout." Naruto said panting, as he laid sprung out on his floor. An hour and a half of laying on the floor he decided he would start getting ready for bed. " ok lets hope I can get some sleep again like I did last night." Naruto said tiredly. After brushing his teeth he practically jumped onto his futon and slid under the covers. "Anytime now, I should be falling asleep…" Naruto said as he opened and closed his eyes. " oh come on, just fall asleep already!" he said aggravatingly.

Fours hours later, 11:00 P.M. : " you know what for get it, I did not want to sleep all that badly anyway." Naruto said as he threw his arms randomly above his head. After his little temper tantrum he folded his arms behind his head and started to think about his day. "_Today was kind of wired._" Naruto thought.

" _Hmm… so Sakura ran track huh… wonder if she's faster than me._" at that thought Naruto "sighed". " _of course it wouldn't take much, my ankles would begin to tear like no other, than I would be screwed. But I guess jogging in cross country wouldn't be to bad. I may just run cross country, I was pretty good at it._" Naruto smiled a little at that thought, then he "sighed" again. " _what did dad always say, its not running if your slower than the other guys… Now that I think about it… that doesn't even make sense." _he thought with an eye twitching. " I cant believe I listened to that garbage." Naruto growled out. Naruto then began to relax after a thought crossed his mind, and he…smiled. " did I just, smile… a real smile?" Naruto asked himself aloud.

" what did I do to make me smile like that?" he wondered out loud again. Then he closed his eyes to think of why he would have smiled like that, but instead he fell asleep.

Days went by after he smiled his true smile and he never could figure out as to what made him smile like that. So he, brushed it off as something weird, a "phenomenon" perhaps he would say to himself. But also as the days went by Sakura began to sit at the lunch table with them. And for some odd reason he felt relaxed and nervous all in one package, and that freaked him out. " _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME!" _Naruto screamed bloody murder in his head, with his eye twitching. As he watched Sakura drink her blue monster, while she listened to what Temari, and Ino talk about god knows what. She would give them her opinion about something they would ask her, when asked.

"hey what's your damage, Naruto?" Temari asked with a world of wonder.

"yeah, you've just been staring into space for like ever and haven't even said one word." Ino asked joining in with the barrage of questions that would surely becoming his way if he didn't answer correctly.

"Uh nothing, nothing at all, I was just uh…"

" he's just a little out of it today Temari, Ino." Shikamaru said trying to help out his friend.

"uh yeah, I'm just a little tired that all." Naruto said with a sheepish smile.

" oh well ok" Temari said, then going back to the topic they were talking about before.

Naruto "sighed" with relief. "_Thank god Shikamaru was there to save me_" He thought while laying his head down on his arm. He then looked over towards Sakuras direction only to see her giving him a confused look. He then immediately looked away from the stare that made his knees shake. "_what the hell… stop shaking damn it._" he said while punching his legs. Which of course caught everyone's attention.

"Uh are you sure there's nothing bothering you?" Temari asked with her eye brows raised.

" Yeah, why would there be something bothering me?" Naruto asked with a nervous smile.

" Well, I have never seen anyone randomly beat there knees in like that, when nothing was bothering them." Temari said with a little confusion.

" hey I have an idea on how we can get him to tell us!" Ino yelled pretty loudly.

"How" Temari asked with confusion still on her face.

"Let me see your fork, and I'll show you" she said with an all to innocent smile.

Temari handed her for over to Ino.

" _why do I get the feeling I am about to be hurt._" Naruto asked himself thinking.

Then, Ino began to stab Naruto all over his arm. " tell me your problem!" She yelled like she was enjoying the stabbing her friend was receving.

"AAAHHH! Ok, Ok I'll tell you, I'll tell you just have mercy." Naruto begged as he was being punctured with the mini devil pitch fork.

"good, now go on and tell us." Ino said as if nothing happened. But if you looked at everyone around the table, there eyes were wide with surprise.

"_crazy freaking devil lady, and her evil fork of doom." _a defeated Naruto thought. He shook his head of all previous thoughts so he could tell them before he was raped by the fork again.

He took a quick look at Sakura than he took a deep breath. "uh well, I've just been having a little trou"

RRRIIINNNGGG! The lunch bell rang, ending lunch time.

"well whatever, must not be that important." Ino said as she got up from the table, then she skipped off to her Sixth hour class.

"Bye, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sakura!" Temari yelled as she followed Ino out of the cafeteria.

Shikamaru looked as if he wanted to say something back but he just stood still. Sakura gave us a glance and a wave before leaving the lunchroom as well.

"well, ill see you after school if I see you in the hallway." Shikamaru said as he made his exit.

" saved by the bell." Naruto said like he won the lottery. Then he made his way out as well.

**_OK HERE IS MY NEXT CHAPTER... ILL TRY AND MAKE IT A LITTLE LONGER NEXT TIME BUT FOR RIGHT NOW THIS WILL DO. R/R PLEASE_**


	6. Figuring out why

Figuring out why.

"Uh, its good to be home." An exhausted Naruto whines, as he makes his way to his room. "Maybe I should think about cleaning this dump." Naruto says to himself with a sweat drop. He "sighs" and enters the tsunami struck room. "where should I start, maybe the closet… no, how bout, the… oh forget it I'll just start cleaning!" he yells in frustration.

One hour and thirty minutes later: "Hmm, eh it looks good, sparkles even." He said with an approving nod. He goes to his closet to find his workout clothes to begin his workout, but stops and looks at his guitar. "_ nah, I haven't had any inspiration to play, so I'll just workout and find something else to do._" Naruto Shakes his head thinking.

After his workout and later in the day, close to when the sun starts to set and the stars start to appear you could find Naruto laying down on top of his cellar. " star gazing is the best way to clear the mind of anything depressing, don't you think Oliver…" Naruto asks his outside cat named Oliver who was laying on his back right beside him.

Oliver lifts his head up and "Meows" tiredly and lays it back down and then curls up next to Naruto.

Naruto pets Oliver on the head while he looks at the now dark sky. "looks like I missed the sunset, huh." he asks to no one in particular, just his cat who was fast asleep now. Then he sees it, the sky turn into a wonderful display of lights, but he looks for only one. A star that is the better than all the others in his opinion. "Ah there it is, right where it should be." Naruto says with a sad smile, as he looked at his favorite star. " The moon looks even better than it did last week." he said quietly while staring straight up towards the moon.

" when life gets rough, lay down outside and begin star gazing." he said while scanning the bright dots that were all over the dark sky.

"What the hell, do you think your doing." the most annoying voice on this side of the earth said. "watching the stars, that's what girls do when there upset about something stupid." the stupid person with the stupid voice continued.

Naruto slowly began to get up so he could walk off, and go inside. But that wasn't what the other person wanted.

"Hey, you need to show a little more respect to your future brother in law, and answer my damn question." the person said with aggravation.

Naruto put his hands in his pockets and turned his head to the side. " yes Gin, that's exactly what I was doing, I was star gazing. Is there a problem with that." Naruto said back calmly.

"Damn straight there's a problem with that, you're suppose to be the man around the house. And here I catch you star gazing like some little girl." He said like he was the smartest man on the planet.

" Well, girls for one do not star gaze when their up set about something stupid… I can't say why they do it, but I do it because its relaxing and I enjoy looking at the moon on nights like this." he said with a hard glare. " And if you have a problem with me looking at the stars, then you should just keep it to your self. Or we will defiantly have a problem." He said as he started walking back into his house.

Naruto made it back in side his house, but you could still hear Gin saying something smart about the whole thing with the stars. "Gin and Sakami are here." Naruto says to his mom Kushina as he makes his way to his room. Once in he shreds the shirt and gets in bed and try's to fall asleep. Just like he's been doing he closes his eyes and thinks about that something that has been helping him sleep, which of course he passes out like a light once he did.

The next morning was slow to start off, but like any other day that starts off slow usually speeds up, which it did for Naruto. He made it to school a little earlier than usual, but he didn't care he was just ready for the day to hurry along. And it did like every other so far, but once it got to his fifth hour class, it changed for the worst. ' is Naruto Uzumaki in this class." the lady that worked at the front office window asked as she popped her head into the class.

Naruto raised his hand. " yeah I'm here." he answered.

The office lady walked all the way inn. "Good, here is your new class schedule, Naruto." she said with a smile as she handed him the paper.

" They changed my classes!" Naruto said angrily. But took the paper anyways and sat back down.

RRRIIINNNGGG! Bell for lunch sounded. And every one made their way out and towards the cafeteria. But Naruto as he went over his new class schedule, to check his new classes. But only two of them changed, instead of biology first hour it changed to sixth hour, and instead of health he got financial literacy first hour. " _this sucks! Why did it have to be me that had to get the schedule change" _he thought sourly.

"Naruto, its lunch time. If you would kindly do so can you leave my room so I may lock it." His English teacher asked nicely.

"Oh. I'm sorry I was just surprised I got the schedule change that's all." Naruto said with a nervous smile, as he gathered his things to leave.

"That's fine, now go to lunch." She said with that teacher authority.

"uh right… well bye I will see you tomorrow then." Naruto said as he ran out of the classroom.

LUNCHROOM

" I am telling you Shikamaru, your wrong. That is not how you solve for the math problem!" a frustrated Ino yelled.

"And I am telling you I am doing it right." an equally frustrated Shikamaru answers back.

"Uh hey guys what did I miss?" Naruto said as he sat down at the lunch table.

"Nothing much, just a math fight between Shikamaru and Ino that's all." A cheery Temari said.

"Well that's cool I guess." Naruto said with a sweat drop. After he got comfortable at the lunch table he noticed someone missing. "Where's Sakura?" Naruto asked as he looked around the lunch table.

"I'm right here." The missing Sakura said as she walked towards the lunch table. " I was getting me something out of the vending machine, damn thing tried to rob me." She said jokingly. She then took her seat and pulled a cup of soup out of her bag.

Naruto looked away embarrassed for some reason, then he began to eat his lunch. That was ham, mashed-potatoes, and one roll, one of his favorites because it had mashed-potatoes. But mostly because it didn't look like it would crawl of your tray at any moment. After a few bites of ham, and potatoes, he remembered his schedule change. " Oh, I got thrown out of biology, to financial class first hour." he said with a little disappointment.

Ino gave him a look from the corner of her eye. " why do you sound so upset about it?" she asked a little curious.

Naruto of course without thinking looked towards Sakura, and never answered. Inos question, which was a big mistake.

Ino waited for a while and never got her answer. " Hey Temari."

"yeah?" Temari asked.

"can I borrow your fork." Ino asked with that evil smile. Which awoke Naruto form his daze.

"wait, what was the question again." Naruto asked in a hurry.

" I asked what your problem was, and you never answered me." she said annoyed, that she didn't get to stab him.

"oh its nothing really, I was just thinking about a test I am taking in math." Naruto lied, of course.

"Test… this early in the year? That doesn't sound right to me." she said no totally convinced.

"Uh, yeah its just a test to see how much we remember from last year." Naruto said getting nervous.

"Oh, ok that makes sense." she said totally believing it.

"_She bought it! I cant believe it._" Naruto thought in astonishment. Naruto then looked at Shikamaru, and he gave Naruto a thumbs up. Which Naruto returned, with a smile. And that made Shikamaru gape in shock.

"Naruto did, did you just smile?" Shikamaru asked suddenly. Shikamaru always new if Naruto was wearing a mask or if he just smiled to let people think he was alright.

Naruto looked at Shikamaru with wide eyes. "yeah, uh I smile all the time Shikamaru you know that." he said with fake laughter. As everyone looked at them like they were high.

"uh yeah I was just messing around, you know having fun." Shikamaru said with a nervous chuckle.

"_THAT'S THE BEST EXCUSE HE COULD COME UP WITH! There's no know they would believe that._" Naruto thought freaking out.

"Oh, ok." everyone said going back to their own conversations.

" What's wrong with you, I could have been caught." Naruto whispered harshly.

"I'm sorry you, you just caught me by surprise, with the smile that's all." Shikamaru whispered back nervously.

"Sai even knows not to yell something out like that, he keeps it to himself." Naruto whispered again.

"I said sorry what else do you want from me. Anyways what's up, you haven't smiled like that in ages." Shikamaru asked curiously.

Naruto took a quick glance at Sakura laughing at something that Temari said. "Nothing I just have had a lot on my mind lately that's all." Naruto said as he looked back towards Shikamaru.

RRRIIINNNGGG! The bell ending lunch sounded. "yeah so I'll see you after school right?" Naruto asked Shikamaru.

Shikamaru shook his head yes. " yeah I will see you after school."

Then they exited the cafeteria and went their separate ways.

_**ALL RIGHT! SIXTH CHAPTER UP AND RUNNING, I AM ON A ROLL! ENGOY, R/R NARUTO NATE OUT… PEACE!**_


	7. found out

Found out

After school, just like they said Naruto and Shikamaru met after school. "So, exactly why am I waiting here with you." a bored Naruto asked. As they sat on outdoor tables at the school.

"Cause, I don't want to ride the bus, plus I thought we could workout after school today." Shikamaru replied back.

Naruto gave him a blank stare. "You workout, with me, what is this some kind of joke?" Naruto said with a laugh.

"Well I just thought you could show me how to do some workouts, that's all." Shikamaru answered embarrassedly.

Naruto just gave him another blank look, than realization struck. "Or is it because you want to look good for when you and Temari hook up, right." he said with a laugh.

"Shut up! You do the same thing, you get big just to look good!" Shikamaru yelled desperately. "I mean, lately I think you have been working out even harder for…Sakura." He said with a revengeful look.

Narutos eyes grew as wide a saucers. "How did, how did you know." he asked desperately.

"Please, who do you think your fooling, Sai? I think I can tell when you like someone." he said with a wide evil grin.

Naruto began to sweat. "hey so, uh what kind of workout did you have in mind?" he asked nervously.

"That's what I thought, but how am I suppose to know. You're the only freak here." he said jokingly.

"I'll take that as a complement." Naruto said with a hard glare. "But seriously, how did you know?" he asked curiously.

"Well, for one, you have been smiling more than I have seen you do in along time. Plus who, and I mean who really beats there legs after they look at someone?" Shikamaru said like a know it all.

"Uh, right well lets get to your house and workout then shall we." he said nervously.

"Good, and yes lets hurry and get out of here." Shikamaru answered back. Eager to get home and away from the school.

"Right, so lets get a move on shall we." Naruto said equally eager to get out of there.

The drive to Shikamarus was a short drive, mostly because he lived like twenty minutes away. "So I, I've been thinking on some workouts." Naruto said looking at Shikamaru, who was sleeping.

"Ah, dumb-ass, I cant believe he fell asleep on me!" Naruto said quietly. Then he gets an evil grin. "_I have a way to get him back for this._" Naruto thought. Naruto makes it to Shikamarus house with out even a little bit of trouble, once pulled completely in his driveway, Naruto starts to scream bloody murder. "Ah! Shikamaru were about to crash!" Naruto screams hysterically. Naruto looks over towards Shikamaru and his eye begins to twitch. "How the hell does he sleep through that?" Naruto asks himself.

"By waking up before we even get into the drive way." Shikamaru answers with his eyes closed.

"You were awake this whole time!" Naruto yells Franticly.

"I'm not an idiot, Naruto, I new you would pull some stupid stunt like that." Shikamaru says while getting out of his friends truck.

Naruto slammed his head into the steering wheel. "Ah! I cant believe it, I looked like an idiot." Naruto said depressingly.

"Just be happy no one else was around." Shikamaru said with slight annoyance, of his friends immaturity.

"Yeah I guess, but I'm still a little upset it didn't work." Naruto said as he to, got out of his truck.

"Yeah, anyways let just start this workout, do you have any workout clothes with you." Shikamaru asked.

'Oh my god, and you call me stupid." Naruto said with a big laugh. "How the hell am I going to have workout clothes on me, I didn't know we were going to workout today." Naruto said still laughing.

Shikamaru blushed at his own stupidity. "Ah whatever, but you know what I'm not feeling like a work out any more." Shikamaru said with a lazy yawn.

"well ok, I'll just be going home then." Naruto said with a slight disappointment, that he wasted gas for nothing. "well I will see you Monday then." Naruto said as he got back into his car.

"Yeah, see you Monday." Shikamaru yawned out as he made his way towards his front door.

Naruto made it home pretty quickly, and when he made it inside he found his mom had dinner ready. "Why are we having dinner so early?" Naruto asked, looking at the food hungrily. It was his favorite, cacciatore. Tomato sauce, with a blend of bell peppers, and chicken.

"Well, me and Isshin, are going out to dinner for tonight. So I decided to make your favorite meal." Kushina said with a big smile.

"Uh, so I have to baby-sit, Din, and Yuzu." Naruto said aggravatingly.

"Nope. Your brother (Din) went your dads. And Yuzu (sister) went to her grandmas. So you basically have the house to your self." She said as she continued to make the meal.

Narutos eyes grew wide with excitement. "_HOME, ALONE! I cant let this night go to waist… I, I have to do something really amazing tonight._" Naruto thought with excitement.

"Oh and before I forget, don't go and get all your friends to hang out. Got it." Kushina said braking Narutos train of thought.

"Uh, right I know why would you think I would do that." Naruto said innocently, while he fidgeted with his fingers. He then gave his mom a fake smile and walked off to his room. "Finally, I thought I was going to lose it." Naruto said relived, that he got away from his mom. Naruto shut his door and walked into his closet to change into his workout clothes. "Ok, since I was almost thrown off my schedule. I will push it even further tonight." Naruto said determined, to hit his workout hard.

_**OK, HERES CHAPTER 7, AND SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE, I SHOULD HAVE CHAPTER 8 UP AND RUNNING SOON, PLEASE R/R NARTUO NATE OUT! **_


	8. WHAT!

WHAT!

His workout that night exhausted him, but he was determined to not let this once in a life time privilege go to waist. Naruto said to him self he would, do something in the empty house he now adorned, anything to make the weekend go faster. "Ok, so I think I'll eat some dinner, watch some movie, and uh, I don't really know what else." Naruto said scratching his chin, trying to think of something more he could do. "its not that dark out, so maybe I'll go for a walk in the pasture." He said while looking out his window. With the shake of his head, Naruto made his decision. "So, I will go walking for a while, then maybe bug my grand parents a little." he said with a little laugh. "Then, I think I will finish off the night with a little stare gazing." he said proudly with his new to do plan. Now all he had to do was put it into action.

Naruto ate his dinner while he watched a movie, but he couldn't finish it. He just wanted to be out side. "Its to nice out to be inside." he said while he made his way towards his pasture. "This is probably the only cool thing about living in the country." Naruto said as he put his hands behind his head and made his way out into the open field. Naruto walked in the field for at least two hours, before heading back to his house to catch the sun set.

"Ah, this is the life, having the house all to myself. No one to bother me, and of course I get to watch the stars." he sat down on his cellar and stretched his arms out behind him. 'meow' "huh, Oliver, where you been." Naruto said happily to his cat. "get on over here and watch with me." he told his cat. Oliver 'purred' as it curled up next to Naruto. "Now all I need is some music, then the night will be perfect." he said as he pulled an Ipod, out from his pocket. "Alright, now this is relaxing." he sighed out as he laid down completely.

Naruto just looked up at the stars as they began to appear, from the sun setting completely. "perfect." Naruto whispered quietly to him self. He began to close his eyes as he listened to his music, and he relaxed so much he dozed off.

Naruto woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing. "hello." Naruto asked tiredly.

"hey Naruto" Shikamarus voice came through the phone. Which was wired considering he is one to be the first person asleep, on the whole planet.

"oh hey Shikamaru, what's up?" Naruto tiredly but curiously asked his friend.

"Nothing much, but I was wondering if maybe I could come over to your house tonight. There is some thing I need to talk to you about." Shikamaru said desperately.

"uh yeah, I can call and ask my mom, but, but she kind of told me not to allow anyone over, but since its you she should be cool with it." Naruto said with a little worry of his friend.

"Cool, call me back if you get an answer please." Shikamaru said before hanging up his phone.

Naruto immediately began to search his contacts to call his mom. After a few rings, his mom picked up.

"hello." his mom asked.

"uh, yeah hey mom can Shikamaru come over to the house." Naruto asked as nicely as he could.

"at this time of night, I don't know." she said with a little confusion.

"please mom, I'll drive carefully, its not like I haven't drove in the dark before." Naruto said a little anxious for the answer.

"alright, you can go get him. But really though drive carefully." Kushina said.

"ok mom, thanks, bye." Naruto said before hanging up. Immediately after talking to his mom, Naruto called Shikamaru back.

"Did she say it was alright?" Shikamaru asked immediately when he answered his phone.

"Uh, yeah she said its cool. So you better be ready, I'm on my way now." Naruto said as he got up from his spot on the cellar. Oliver 'meowed' annoyed and ran off the cellar towards the red shed.

"alright, ill see you when you get here.' Shikamaru said as he hung up.

Naruto was about to walk off the cellar until he remembered something. " how did I hear my cell phone ring, if I had my Ipod out?" Naruto asked himself, while scratching his neck. that's when he heard it, a little music playing coming form the grass. "what the, how did it get way over here?" he asked himself, as he walked over and bent down to pick it up. "whatever I need to get going." Then Naruto made his way towards his truck.

Naruto drove to Shikamarus house for the second time that day. And when he pulled up, Shikamaru was already waiting on his front steps. Naruto opened his passenger door for Shikamaru to get in. " so you ready." Naruto asked.

Shikamaru just shook his head yes, and laid his head back. Naruto looked at him for a second then he began to pull out of the driveway. "so you going to tell me what's up?" Naruto asked trying to brake the tension. But Shikamaru just shook his head no.

"I'll tell you once were at your house." he said like he was sick.

"Uh, ok whatever you say." Naruto told him.

The drive back to Narutos house, was a quit on, neither of them said a word. Naruto would give Shikamaru a side ways glance to check on him, but it seemed he was asleep. But he couldn't tell for sure anymore, considering he fooled Naruto earlier in the day. But they made it to Narutos house, even with the tension. Once parked Shikamaru raised his head and got out of the car and made his way up Narutos porch.

Naruto walked up behind him and unlocked the door, but once inside Naruto grabbed Shikamaru by the shoulders and demanded what was wrong. "ok dude, you need to tell me your problem. Depression only looks good on me." Naruto said trying to make a joke.

" Its Temari, I cant get her out of my head." Shikamaru said depressingly. "I've tried to tell her at school on how I feel, but I cant form the right words." He said quietly.

"_talk about being in the same boat._" Naruto thought. " I know how you feel, Shikamaru." Naruto said understandingly, like a best friend would. "Its happening to me as well, I cant get Sakura out of my head either." Naruto said with a little smile.

Shikamaru backed away a little, and threw his arms to his side. "BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO!" Shikamaru screamed, like he was in emotional agony. "I get sick now, every time I think of her. Why doesn't she notice me?" Shikamaru asked a little quieter, while looking Naruto straight in the face.

Naruto moved forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know what its like Shikamaru." Naruto said as another thought crossed his mind. "its difficult, but sooner or later, sooner or later she's going to see you. See you for what you really have to offer her. Because even she knows, that the grass is greener on the other side." Naruto said with a soft but firm look. " _Am I making any sense at all. It sounds like I do but I'm not all to sure._" Naruto nervously thought to himself.

Shikamaru looked at him with a smile. "yeah, your right. She'll see me and all I have to offer." He said with his smile getting bigger.

"Awesome! What do you say to playing some call of duty?" Naruto asked relived that he made his friend better.

Shikamaru looked away like he was guilty about something. "oh and there's one more thing I need to tell you." Shikamaru said like he was really guilty about something.

"What?" Naruto asked, but he had a feeling he knew exactly what Shikamaru was going to say.

"I, I uh kind of told Temari, and she told Ino. That you like Sakura." Shikamaru finally said.

Naruto just stood frozen for a minute or two "WHAT!"

_**TOLD YOU GUYS I WOULD HAVE CHAPTER 8 UP SOON! BUT SERIOUSLY I NEED SOME REVIEWS COME ON PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! ANYWAY ENJOY, NARUTO NATE OUT! **_


	9. NEVER TRULY

NEVER TRULY

"What, why would you do that!" Naruto yelled franticly.

"It, it just slipped out that's all." Shikamaru said as sweat dripped down his face. Because of the fear from his friend.

"It, it, just slipped out. That's the best excuse you could come up with!" Naruto said breathing heavily.

"Well, it really did, I really, well I kind of… ok well I really meant to tell her." Shikamaru said nervously.

Naruto took a deep breath to try and calm him self. "Ok, its ok… I just need to relax, and forget about this whole thing." Naruto said to him self calmly.

"Well, she said that Ino said she was going to tell everyone." Shikamaru said without thinking.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Naruto yelled while jumping at his friend.

"Oh my god, I didn't mean to say that out loud!" Shikamaru said trying to make a dash for the door, leading out side.

Naruto took notice of what he was planning. "No your going to take this like a man." Naruto said darkly, and with a demon looking face. Naruto then tackled him to the floor.

"HELP, SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" Shikamaru started screaming, like a girl.

FEW HOURS LATER

"isn't this fun, playing call of duty with your best friend? The one you see as a brother even." Naruto said smiling while he killed his opponent.

"Yeah… so much fun." a bruised, and beaten Shikamaru said. And If you looked close enough, it would look as if Shikamaru was smoking from his beating,

"Yeah, so much fun." Naruto said while turning his head towards his friend.

If you looked Shikamaru in the eyes you could see his thoughts reflecting off them. It looked as if he were thinking. "_WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE A BEATING DIDN'T TAKE PLACE! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IT WAS MY OWN BEATING, THAT HE CAUSED._" But that was only if you looked deep into his eyes, and it was a guess no less.

"Yeah, uh, anyway what are we going to do now?" Shikamaru asked as the game ended.

"well I don't know about you, but I am going to bed." Naruto said with a yawn.

"Finally, I didn't think we would ever get to sleep." Shikamaru said equally tired. As the went to the living room with a pillow and cover each, the both plopped down on the couch that looked like a giant L. Shikamaru gently laid his head down on his pillow, with his eyes closed. But then they opened wide. "Wait a sec, you wanting to go to sleep. This early, well early for you. But what's the deal, how can you sleep, you rarely sleep?" Shikamaru said like he was thrown into a different dimension. Where Naruto smiles, laughs, and sleeps like a normal person… Well as normal as they come, considering they hang out with some pretty wired people.

Naruto just slowly opened his eyes, and smiled while looking at the ceiling. And that's all it took for Shikamaru to understand.

"You like her that much huh." Shikamaru asked softly.

Naruto just lightly laughed at that. "Yeah, I like her that much." Naruto said with his still softened gaze.

Shikamaru gave him a look of understanding, but then his eyes went downcast. "Look Naruto, Temari told me something, something about Sakura that you should hear." Shikamaru said with full on guilt towards his friend.

Naruto sat up slowly. " What, what is it." Naruto asked curiously.

Shikamaru looked down as if his shoulders where being weighed down by guilt. "She, well she, she kind of has. Well she has a…" Shikamaru trailed off.

"What, she has a what." Naruto asked a little excited. "Does she have a crush on me or something, I mean if that's true than I must have did something right." Naruto said with a proud smile.

Shikamaru just looked at the floor. "She has a boyfriend." Shikamaru all but whispered, but loudly enough for Naruto hear.

"she, she has a boyfriend." Naruto said as if he was having trouble understanding.

"Yeah, she has a boyfriend, I don't know for how long, but Temari said it was for awhile." Shikamaru said as if more guilt was pilling up on him.

Naruto just looked at his hands, and slowly got up.

"where you going?" Shikamaru asked as he got up to. But Naruto held his hand up to stop him.

"I want to be alone for awhile." Naruto said as he made his way towards his back door.

Shikamaru just sat back down, and watched him leave. "I'm sorry Naruto." Shikamaru whispered to himself.

OUTSIDE

Naruto just made his way to the top of his cellar, and sat down on his knees and looked up at the stars.

"She. Has. A. Boyfriend." Naruto slowly whispered, as if he was still having trouble believing it.

Naruto then laid on his back. "Sakura, I'm sorry." Naruto said with a guilt of his own, as he stared at the moon. The rest of the night Naruto just looked at the stars, and tried to relax. But no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't. so he stayed out that whole night, and catching the sunrise.

"_a peaceful sunrise, rising for a destroyed and emotionally beaten person._" Naruto thought while the sunrise came out from behind the clouds.

Naruto slowly got up from his spot on his cellar. "If the best I can give is friend ship, then I will forever except the fact. And I will always be there for her when she needs me. But, I don't think I can ever truly let go." Naruto said as he looked at the sun.

"Never let go of what you truly feel towards her." A voice said from behind him.

Naruto looked behind him to see a smiling Shikamaru. "Yeah, never let go for what I truly feel towards her." Naruto said as he looked back at the sun. "Never let go." Naruto whispered a final time, while turning away from the sun and walking back towards the house with Shikamaru.

_**I'M SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! BUT I WILL TRY AND GET BACK ON TRACK, BUT HERES YOU ANOTHER CHAPTER. PLEASED READ/ AND REVIEW. NARUTO NATE OUT.**_


	10. Chapter 10 THE HELL!

THE HELL!

Naruto and Shikamaru were making their way back inside when Naruto stopped and noticed something. "The hell, where is my mom at?" Naruto asked looking at the lack of parked cars. "Did maybe she come in last night and Isshin went off somewhere." He looked at Shikamaru as if he had the answer to his question.

"Why are you looking at me, I fell asleep when you came out here last night. I didn't hear the door open or close last night." Shikamaru said with a little annoyance.

"Who pissed in your cereal?" Naruto asked equally annoyed.

"Here's a facet for you, I haven't had any cereal yet. I had to come out here and check on your depressed self." Shikamaru shot back smartly, while looking off to the side.

Naruto just looked at him blankly "What happened, you were nice to me a second ago!" Naruto yelled with fake tears.

Shikamaru just shook his head and continued his way back inside the house. With Naruto fallowing close behind. "Hey, Shikamaru what time is it anyhow?" Naruto said with a little laugh.

Shikamaru took his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. "It's, six thirty…" Shikamaru said, not really understanding why Naruto is laughing. Then it dawned on him. "Ah! I am going back to bed this is way to early for me!" He said making his way back towards the couch. " I cant believe you had me out there this early in the morning, wake me up at like twelve." He said as he slid under his cover, to which he passed out immediately.

Naruto just stood there with an eye twitching. "I cant believe him, he is such a kill joy." he said with boredom already seeping in. "Ah! The hell am I suppose to do now!" Naruto yelled in frustration while pulling his blond hair. Then all of a sudden his phone began to ring. "Uh, hello?"

"Hey, Naruto its mom!" Kushina yelled into the phone.

"Kami, mom you don't have to blow my ear off!" he said pulling the phone away from his ear.

"Oh, sorry." she giggled out. "Just wanted you to know that we will be home later in the evening."

"Uh, ok whatever you just have a good time." Naruto said anxiously to get off the phone.

"Ok bye." Kushina said dragging out the bye.

Naruto hung up his phone but not without muttering, "Yeah, she's drunk." but he walked into his room to get a change of clothes. Naruto just put his old orange karate pants on and decided on not wearing a shirt. "Might as well go outside and do something a little productive." he said leaving his room heading to the back door.

Naruto made it outside, and just did a few stretches, and practiced some katas. After his katas he did a few pushups, and practiced his flexibility. _"Got to stay limber." _he thought sarcastically. He then went to his shed and pulled out his old kickboxing bag. And practiced with that for awhile, then he pretended to fight a few people, the he went back inside to grab his throwing knives and practiced his throwing. He did the same thing for a few hours until his stomach made a "Growling" noise.

"Must be lunch time." Naruto said rubbing sweat off his fore head. He then patted his stomach and made his way back inside for some lunch.

ONE HOUR LATER

Naruto had his lunch, and took a shower put on some fresh clothes. And now he just watches in amazement as Shikamaru snores the day away. "How the hell does he do it?" Naruto wonders aloud.

Naruto poked him a few times to see what would happen and when nothing would he would just rapidly poke his friend in the head. "Hmm, there has got to be away to wake sleeping beauty here." Naruto asked himself tapping his chin.

"Got it!" He said snapping his fingers, Naruto grabbed Shikamarus cell phone that he laid on the coffee table before he passed out. "I just got to figure out what Temari's ring tone is on his phone. And bam he awakes immediately to answer his phone for his true love." Naruto said with a proud grin as he found out what he wanted, he set the ring tone as his. And made sure the volume was all the way up. "Ok now to let the plan commence." he pressed the call button and, listened and watched for the events unfold. Shikamarus phone rung loudly but he did nothing. "The hell, why didn't it work?"

"Because, like I said before I woke up before you could do something stupid like that." Shikamaru said with his eyes closed still.

"Ah, The hell!" Naruto yelled frustratingly. " I cant believe you did it again!" He ranted on.

"It's not my fault you cant learn, at all." Shikamaru said sitting up and "Yawning" stretching his arms above his head. "Besides, I said to wake me up at lunch time didn't I." He finished, while giving Naruto his genius glare.

Naruto just grumbled a "Yeah" and moved so Shikamaru could get up.

Shikamaru got up and made his way towards the kitchen. "So, what's for lunch?" Shikamaru asked, with another yawn.

"The hell with you, cook something your self you lazy genius!" Naruto yelled swinging his hands violently above his head.

_**I THINK YOU CAN SEE WHY I GAVE THIS CHAPTER ITS TITLE… AND YES I AM THE ORIGANAL AUTHOR, JUST A DIFFERENT NAME, I DINDT LIKE THE OTHER ONE MUCH… ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT PLEASE READ AND REVIEW… DEAD TO LIFE OUT, SOUNDS CATCHY. **_


	11. Chapter 11 CHICKEN FLAVORED RAMEN

_CHICKEN FLAVORED RAMEN_

"_Ok, ok, Kami I'm sorry that I asked if you could help out a friend and cook me something." Shikamaru said with disappointment._

_Naruto just gave him a hard glare. "I swear if you stopped playing so many video games and did a little exercise here and there you'd actually feel like you accomplished something." _

_Shikamaru just "groaned" at the sound of workout, because it has the word work in it. "But that's just to much work for me, besides at least I'm smarter than you." Shikamaru said with a proud look._

"_As if, I could be smart if I wanted to. And you know it, it's just easier to act stupid so nobody questions me." Naruto said with a pose._

"_Why the pose." Shikamaru asked with sweat dripping down his face. _

"_Thought it was in the moment." Naruto said still in his amazing pose._

"_Well it's not." Shikamaru said shaking his head._

"_Psh, says you." Naruto said while popping his knuckles._

"_Uh, did I say it's not, because I'm sure if Sakura saw you doing that pose she would have stars in her eyes!" Shikamaru said hurriedly, in fear of another beating._

_Naruto just stopped in his tracks. "You think I'm an idiot, that's not the pose I would use to impress Sakura." Naruto said with a wide grin._

"_Uh, then what would it be then?" Shikamaru asked curiously._

"_Well it goes a little like this." Naruto said putting his hands together above his head. "Then I would do this." Naruto said while putting his head between his arms. "Now, here's the killer." then he made his head go in a circle. "that's how you do it." He said with a big grin, as he kept moving his head around._

_Shikamaru just looked at his friend with a blank face. "I don't understand, how is that suppose to work?"_

"_It's not, I don't think. Why do you think it actually would?" Naruto asked in his thinking pose._

"_Uh, your not serious are you. Because if you are then you are screwed and retarded." Shikamaru said slapping him self in the head._

"_Hey that's offensive, especially to those who cant do an awesome pose like this." Naruto doing his pose again._

"_Right, anyways… I am getting hungry, what's there to eat in this place." Shikamaru asked as his stomach began to growl._

"_Uh, well there is instant ramen." Naruto nervously said rubbing the back of his head._

"_Huh, I guess that's good enough for me, at least it's not hard to make." He said with a who cares attitude._

"_Ok then, I will get you the package and you get the bowl of water ready and you can have at it." Naruto said while he searched the cabinets for the instant ramen. "Found it!" Naruto yelled as he pulled it out from the top cabinet. "Here you go, would you like any sauce with that." Naruto sarcastically asked, with a laugh._

"_So funny I forgot to laugh." Shikamaru dryly said as he took the package of noodles from his stupid friend. "Ok, why don't you go play why I fix lunch." Shikamaru joked._

"_Shut up, your no fun." Naruto pouted._

"_Go cry me a river." Shikamaru rolled his eyes and began to make his food. "A meal only Kami himself should only eat." He said sarcastically _

"_He don't be hate in on the noodles." Naruto violently said with fire in his eyes. "Be lucky I am sharing this with you, because if I wanted to I could have let you starve." He said with a proud smile._

"_Well don't sound to proud that you would kill your best friend." Shikamaru said sadly _

"_I can, and I will." Naruto said like he was a spoiled child. "But just eat the food so we can get the day started."_

"_Well for one the day started a few hours ago. And two, I still have to mix the chicken flavor spice to the noodles." He said ripping the pack of spice open._

"_Ok, you don't have to get all smart with me, I was just trying to hurry you along." He said fuming _

"_Oh, well it's hard to tell when you tend to say stupid things like that." Shikamaru grind as he stirred the noodles with his spice._

"_Your just an evil genius aren't you." Naruto said on the verge of tears, fake tears of course._

"_Eh, I try to be." Shikamaru said with his big grin still in tact as he began to slurp the noodles._

_Naruto just walked to a corner and sulked alone. " He's just so mean to me, I cant wait till he goes back home." Naruto said with fake tears pouring down his face._

_Shikamaru just shook his head and held up a victory sign, as he slurped up the rest of his noodles._

_**CHICKEN FLAVORED RAMEN HAS BEEN POSTED…. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW DEAD TO LIFE OUT…**_


	12. Chapter 12 SADNESS TO HAPPINESS

FROM SADNESS TO HAPPINESS

"So, you had your lunch, you should be full by now. So I think we should go walking." Naruto said while his friend cleaned and dried his dish then put it in the strainer.

Shikamaru looked over his shoulder. "Sounds fun I guess, but whatever you want to do." He said completely turning towards Naruto.

"Right, so lets get going." Naruto said triumphantly, as he skipped to the front door.

Shikamaru shook his head with a smile. _"He's really happy, and Sakura helped with that, even if she doesn't know how he feels, she's helping." _Shikamaru thought as he watched his friend run out of the house and jump over the barbwire fence as if it was nothing.

"Come on Shikamaru, your slacking!" Naruto yelled from the other side.

"I thought this was a walk, not a free running contest!" Shikamaru yelled back.

Naruto scratched his head with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I kind of forgot, put me outside and I go a wale." He said with a little laugh.

Shikamaru just sighed, but smiled none the less. "Yeah, well I think I'll go the way that I wont have a chance of braking my neck." He said while walking to the pipe fence.

"But that's what makes it so much fun, taking chances that's what life's about!" Naruto yelled

Shikamaru climbed over the fence and "sighed, yeah well I don't like taking chances that will kill me." He said as he made his way over to Naruto.

Naruto just shrugged his shoulders and began to walk again when Shikamaru caught up with him. "So, where are we heading?" Shikamaru asked.

"A place I go to when its nice outside." Naruto said with a smile.

"Um, I guess that counts as an answer." Shikamaru said with a sweat drop.

"Yeah, but we'll be there in like five minutes. Its not that far away." Naruto said with a small smile.

"I hope so, I don't want to kill myself on just walking." Shikamaru said jokingly.

TEN MINUTES LATER:

"I thought you said it would be five, not ten minutes!" Shikamaru yelled tiredly.

"Well, excuse me for being five minutes off, besides it was just a walk." Naruto said.

"Whatever, so is this it?" Shikamaru asked sourly.

"Um, well no, we still have to walk down this railroad mound." Naruto laughed while scratching his head nervously.

"Uh, more walking." Shikamaru whined.

"Its just a little more, but trust me its worth the walk." Naruto said with another smile.

ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES:

"Ok, is this it?" Shikamaru asked gasping for breath.

"No, now we turn around." Naruto said softly.

"Um, ok I don't see how that, wow…" Shikamaru gasped.

"yeah, I know." Naruto said smiling.

What they where looking at was Kami's master piece, on both sides of the old rail road mound sat trees blooming with flowers, and a creek running through it. The sun just added to the effect, hitting the creek just right making it sparkle, and when the wind blows, it picks up the falling flower petals and they dance in the wind.

Shikamaru looked at Naruto with wide eyes. "This, is amazing, it's almost like, like a."

"Like a dream, yeah I know." Naruto finished his sentence with a soft smile.

"Yeah, like a dream." He said looking back at the scene before them. Shikamaru closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the fresh air. "Why?" Shikamaru asked Naruto.

Naruto looked away from the scene and looked at Shikamaru. "Why what?"

Shikamaru looked at Naruto. "Why do you like Sakura?" he questioned.

"Oh, well I don't know." Naruto said looking back at the scenery.

Shikamaru looked at him bewildered. "You don't know, how's that?"

"Well, it's complicated." Naruto said closing his eyes.

"Try me." Shikamaru said.

Naruto looked at Shikamaru and sat down on a patch of grass. " Ok, I guess you could say I know, but you could also say I don't." He paused letting Shikamaru find a place to sit.

"Ok, continue." Shikamaru said once he found a place to sit.

"Like I said, you could say that, but the truth is… My heart stops when she laughs, my head starts to spin when she speaks, and when she smiles, my head begins to calm, and my heart begins to ease, and I begin to smile." Naruto finished closing his eyes.

"You want to know something Shikamaru." Naruto asked with his eyes still closed.

"Yeah, sure." Shikamaru asked curios of what his friend would have to say after his explanation on the last subject.

"I had a dream of this place once." Naruto said, as he laid back.

"Really, you had a dream of the place that looks like it came out of a dream?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah, but it was a few days after I met Sakura, she was standing a few feet from where were sitting. Except, she was facing away from me with her hands behind her back, she was humming something. I walked closer so I could hear better, but when I stepped on a branch she turned to me. When she saw me, she gave me the most beautiful smile, she said something but I couldn't hear what it was. It was, so weird yet so amazing, I don't know how to describe it any other way." Naruto said with a peaceful smile.

Shikamaru looked down at his friend and smiled. _"Yeah, she's definitely helping Naruto come out of his sadness." _Shikamaru thought happily, that his friend was becoming happy.

_**SRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT HERE IT IS. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, DEAD TO LIFE OUT!**_


	13. Part 2: Life of sadness

"_Why?" Shikamaru asked. _

"_Why what?" Naruto questioned, looking at his friend._

_Shikamaru leaned back so the sun would hit him, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Why do you like Sakura?" he asked again._

_Naruto looked at Shikamaru, and looked for a patch a grass to sit, "I don't really know." he said once he found a nice patch of grass. _

"_You don't know! How's that?" Shikamaru questioned with a curios look._

"_Sigh, well I guess you could say I know, but you could also say I don't…" He paused so Shikamaru could find a place to sit._

"_Ok, continue." He said once he found a nice place to sit._

"_Like I said, you could say that, but the truth is…"_

Its been months since then, when it was warm outside and the sun shined, when it felt like my future was shining bright. Who knew that falling head over hills for a girl, who you consider your best friend… Could feel like dying, no it feels worse than dying, its torture, the kind that you beg for death but it keeps you alive just to feel more pain. But the worst part of it, the worst part of it is that its me doing the torture, physical torture. Cutting myself, to relive me of the emotional agony that is pressed upon me, I would rather feel the physical torture than emotional any day. But even I know that it only goes so far until it stops helping. But I've become weak, I wonder if everyone else sees it? Shikamaru, he finally got his girl, a month after his birthday, and a few days before my sisters wedding… Him, and Temari, he finally got what he wanted, and I envy him for it. But at the same time it makes me sick, I get sick of watching everyone laugh, smile, and I'm sick of pretending to be happy with them. But I will as long as nobody knows the truth, and they wont, besides ill be moving with my dad Minato far away from here. They will no longer have to deal with me, or my problems.

PART 2, LIFE OF SADNESS

"_Come on! Its just one more cut, It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt!"_ Naruto yelled in his head as he brought a knife closer to his arm, for what looked like the third time, and cut himself. It was a smooth clean cut, right on his shoulder, and it was a deep one. Blood just flowed out of the three cuts and dripped down his arm, he dropped the knife on the bathroom floor and gripped the counter so he wouldn't fall. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, as he gasped for air that he held through the pain. He let go of the counter and leaned his back against the wall and slid down grasping his shoulder.

"This is nothing, nothing compared to the emotional agony at least." He whispered to himself as he took his hand off is shoulder and looked at the blood on it. He squeezed his eyes shut, as his hand shook in anger. _"Why, why does it have to be me? Is this some test from Kami to test my will?" _He quietly thought to himself. _"I don't think I can pass this test." _He continued to think to himself. Naruto's face grimaced with pain from his arm, and clutched it. _"If anyone found out and asked why, I'd tell them it's to help me remember that I am alive." _He sadly thought. Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out wrappings and wrapped them around his shoulder. "I should get to bed." he said monotone, as he got up and cleaned up his blood.

NEXT DAY:

Naruto's alarm went off at exactly six thirty like it does every morning, he reached over and turned it off, and got out of his bed to get ready for school. _"It's falling apart, I can even see it… what if they begin to notice." _He thought as he looked into the mirror, he was trying to put up his mask so he wouldn't have to deal with it when he got there. "Sigh, They wont notice, there to busy to notice." He said bitterly to his reflection. He walked out of the bathroom grabbed his bag, and walked out the door without saying bye to his mom or anything, he just left…

Naruto pulled into the school parking lot, parked his truck, got out and walked to the building. Before he entered he put up his best smile and walked to Mr. Hatakes class. He sat down at an empty desk, pulled out his I pod pulled on his hood, and listened to his music as he waited for everyone to show up. _"Why do I even care, its not like they do or anything." _He thought as he glared down at the desk he was sitting at, _"It's going to be a long day." _He thought again as Sakura walked into the room, he pulled out his head phones, put on a smile like nothing was bothering him. _"Long day indeed."_

_**OK, PART TWO OF LIFE WE LIVE… IS UP PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.**_


	14. Chapter 2 PART 2: Pain of a smile

Pain of a smile.

"Hey Naruto." Sakura said as she walked past him and set her things on her desk. She placed her things on her desk turned around and gave him a smile.

"Hey, Sakura." Naruto said like he had trouble saying her name. _"My, chest it hurts." _He thought painfully. "Uh, I need to go use the restroom." Naruto said as he turned around and sped out of the classroom. Naruto entered the bathroom and walked to the mirrors. _"Why, why does it hurt just to see her smile!" _Naruto thought in frustration. "I just need to relax, breath, and focus." He said to himself as he turned the water on cold and washed his face.

"Hey Shikamaru, Temari." Sakura said as they entered the classroom.

"Good morning Sakura!" Temari yelled with a smile on her face. Shikamaru just shook his head but smiled. "Good morning Sakura." Shikamaru said. "Is Naruto here?" Shikamaru asked as he looked around the room for his friend.

"Um, yeah he said he had to use the bathroom." Sakura said. "And there he is." She pointed towards the door as Naruto entered.

"_I'm fine, they wont notice anything…" _Naruto thought to himself as he entered the classroom. "And there he is." He looked up to see Sakura pointing at him, and Shikamaru and Temari looking at him.

"Uh, yeah here I am." Naruto said nervously, looking at everyone. Temari just waved and turned back to Sakura to start a conversation. He noticed Shikamaru look a little longer as if he was trying to figure him out.

"What's wrong?" Shikamaru asked with a serious look.

Naruto looked away slowly, and pretended to be looking outside. "Nothing, I'm fine." he answered slowly as if he might say the wrong thing.

Shikamaru just nodded and joined Tamari's and Sakura's conversation. _"Did he notice!" _Naruto thought in frantic fear. _"No, no he didn't notice why would he, he has other things to be worrying about."_ He calmed himself down and sat at a desk and waited for the bell to ring so he could head to his first hour class.

"Hey, Sai." Naruto said to Sai as him and Ino walked through the door.

Sai walked over to where Naruto was sitting and plopped down in the desk next to him. "What's up, Naruto?" Sai asked.

Naruto just shrugged his shoulders, "Just waiting for the bell to ring, you?" He asked.

"Same…" Sai said. "It's wired, it's like they don't want to include us in any of their conversations." Sai continued as he directed his gaze over towards the rest of our group.

"_You have no idea, but why would they? They'd probably talk with you if you weren't sitting with me." _Naruto Thought. "Yeah, why don't you hang out with them, they'll have more to talk about then me." He said trying to get his friend included in something.

Sai just shrugged his shoulders got up and walked over to them. _"This is how it should be, me alone and out of the way." _he continued. Naruto got up from his seat grabbed his bag, and headed for the door right as the bell went off. _"Alone is all Ill be."_

The day went slow, slower than usual. But it ended just like it always does, and once it did Naruto hopped in his truck and drove home. On the drive it started to snow, slow but surely. Naruto pulled into his drive way and got out of his truck. _"Its cold, perfect." _He thought. He ran inside threw his bag on his bed, grabbed a knife and went back outside. _"Nobody's home yet, so I have all the time in the world." _he quietly thought, as he walked out into the field and towards the railroad mound.

Once there he walked to the spot where he and Shikamaru talked, sat in his spot pulled on his hood and rested his head on his knees. _"Cold like my heart… Frozen like my will, and dead like my life." _He thought to himself as he lifted his head up and watched the snow fall around him. He pulled out his knife from his pocket, and took it out of its sheath. He slowly stood up and rolled up his sleeve, "This is where it ends for me…" He said as he put the blade on his wrist. "This is where I cease to exist." He continued. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath and, froze. _"Just do it! What's there to be scared of, my life is hell already, so just except it!" _He ranted in his head. "AHHH! WHY CANT I DO IT!" he yelled to towards the sky. "HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO HURT, HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO BLEED!" He continued to bellow, he took off his hoodie and threw it to the snowy wet ground. He lifted his shirt up and put the blade on his chest and cut himself, and he let the blood drip to the ground. "HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT! HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED!" he paused to catch his breath. "ANSWER ME!" He yelled again and fell to his knees. "Answer me, please I'm tired of hurting. What do I have to do, spill my heart out to Sakura?" he paused and looked up at the sky once more. "Is that it? Do you want me to tell her everything?" He asked to no one. Naruto shook his head, got up put his hoodie back on. And put his knife away, and walked back to his house clutching his chest, looking defeated.

_**OK, I KNOW IT'S ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER… BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. ANYWAYS PLEASE READ AND REVEIEW. **_


	15. beginning of nightmares

Beginning of nightmares

"_Welcome lady's and gentleman to the winter dance here at freedom high!" The principle yelled from the stage in the auditorium. "For all the men we have a special surprise, if you haven't noticed your dates, and dance partner is missing…" He paused and let the guys look around. "But don't worry, they will be out to choose which one the would like to dance with… But there will be one that doesn't, no for him she will have a special surprise." _

"_Who do you think you'll get?" Shikamaru asked Naruto._

"_I don't know, I don't really remember coming here." Naruto said looking around in confusion._

"_Well I have a feeling, your going to be the unlucky one…" Shikamaru said with a matter of fact tone. _

_Naruto looked at him surprised, "What makes you say that?" he said curios._

_Shikamaru gave him a sharp look. "You know damn well why!" he said with anger Narutos never heard from Shikamaru._

"_What, what do you mean?" Naruto asked nervously._

_Shikamaru just growled at him. "When you get to hell, you'll see." then he walked off._

_Naruto watched the back of Shikamaru with a worried look, but his attention went back to the stage when everyone started to applause. The first to come out was Temari, she immediately walked towards Shikamaru and they began to dance. Then came Ino and she partnered with someone, and it went on and on, until Naruto was the last one. Naruto looked around to see everyone dancing having fun, but he looked back towards the stage to see Sakura walk out. And she looked beautiful in her green dress, it just matched her hair and eyes. She made her way down the stairs and towards Naruto._

"_Shikamaru was wrong, Sakura is going to dance with me." Naruto thought happily. Sakura continued to walk to Naruto with a smile, once she was arms length she stopped. _

"_Well Naruto." She said with her smile still in place. "I guess you finally get what you always wanted." She continued._

_Naruto looked at her with wide eyes. "I, I do." he said disbelieving._

_Sakura smiled and pulled out a knife. "Yes, yes you do." She said, her smile getting bigger. _

_Naruto looked surprised and took a step back but bumped into someone, and that person grabbed a hold of Naruto so he couldn't get away. "What's going on, I, I don't understand!" Naruto yelled trying to get loose._

_Sakura just laughed, "You don't understand? This is what you have always wanted, your death, your existence to cease." She finished with a smile._

"_No, this is not what I want!" he yelled franticly. _

"_Really now, then pray tell, what have you always wanted?" She asked_

_Naruto stared at her for what seemed like forever, he noticed that everyone but the guy holding him, where still dancing around them. "It's, its you…" He answered in defeat, he bent his head down and waited for the end._

"_Touching, but whatever." She said as she brought the knife up, and drove it through his shoulder, and she took it out and sliced his neck. "Have fun in hell." She said with a smile as she continued to stab and slice him._

"AHH!" Naruto yelled jumping up, breathing hard, with sweat dripping from his forehead. He grabbed his chest and felt his heart pounding. "It, it was just a nightmare." He said slowly. "Just a nightmare." He repeated.

_**JUST ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER, BUT PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.**_


	16. Anger, or sadness?

Anger, or sadness?

After that night, Naruto's nightmares got worse and worse, so he decided just not to sleep. No matter what he wouldn't fall asleep, he do anything just to stay awake. But the day after his nightmare, was a tiring one.

"_Why did I have to have a nightmare, it's hard enough to fake being happy. Now I have to do it while I'm exhausted." _Naruto thought as he got ready for school. _"I don't even see why I go to that hell hole anyways." _He thought bitterly. _"It's not like anyone else would care, their better off without me anyways." _He continued his inner conflict. "_Besides, they most likely wouldn't even notice I'm gone."_

Naruto looked into the mirror one more time, checked his cut on his chest, and made his way out of the house without a goodbye once again. "Just one more day until the weekend, I can last till then." He said to himself before he got in his truck and left for school.

AT SCHOOL

Naruto pulled into the parking lot, got out walked up to the school building only to find that the doors are locked. "What the hell." He said pulling out his phone to check the time. "It's only six fifty." Naruto said. "Whatever, doesn't matter, at least I'm here." he said as he took a seat at the benches outside. "Good thing I brought my hooding along." He said shivering at the cold.

A few minutes of waiting in the cold and the doors where finally unlocked. _"Stupid damn school, if I did go to hell it would be warmer than this." _He thought angrily. Naruto walked into Mr. Hatakes room put his stuff on a desk and went to the bathroom. "Just breath Naruto, you can be happy, just think of that smile, think of the laugh, just relax." Naruto said closing his eyes, breathing slowly. _'You'll never be happy again, you'll never smile, never laugh, your empty. Nothing but a shell of what you used, and want to be.' _A voice said in the back of Naruto's head. "I can be happy, I just have to believe." Naruto said squeezing his eyes closed tighter. _'No, those cuts, just prove that I'm right, your not happy, and never will be. You can barley fake a smile anymore, your weak and pathetic.' _The voice said as it vanished. Naruto opened his eyes and looked at his reflection, and he glared at it. "Weak and pathetic, that's all I am. Never am I going to be any different." Naruto said, but then his face softened. "But, I will try, try to be happy for everyone else." He took one last look at himself and walked back to Mr. Hatakes classroom.

Naruto sat in a desk and waited for everyone to show up, his conversation with himself played over and over in his head. But when everyone started to show up, he put his smile up and his day began. _"Just be happy for everyone else's sake." _He thought as Sakura showed up. Naruto gave her a smile as she walked by, and he grabbed his things and headed for the door as the bell went off. "So, the day begins."

Classes came and went, morning first but finally almost to an end, and lunch about to begin. Naruto sat at his desk, in his fifth hour class. A book in his hand, waiting for his class to end, _"Just hurry up, I want to get out of here so I can go to lunch and get the day over with." _he ranted in his head, as he stared at the clock. RRRIIINNNGGG! _"Finally!" _Naruto yelled in his head as he gathered his things and was about to walk out of the classroom with everyone, but his English teacher caught him before he could.

"Naruto, may I have a quick word with you." Mrs. Yuhi asked, as she blocked the door.

"_God!" _Naruto yelled in his head again. " Yeah, sure." He said shaking his head mentally.

"Well, I just wanted to say I noticed your grades have been dropping tremendously. Are you having trouble understanding what I'm teaching?" She asked, with curious but all knowing eyes.

"No, its just…" Naruto paused.

"Just what?" Mrs. Yuhi asked. "Are you having girl problems?" She asked with a laugh.

"_If only you knew." _He thought bitterly. "Haha, no girls don't find me attractive enough for me to have problems with them." He said faking the laugh.

"Well, I just wanted you to know about your grades, I know you're smart. The story's we have had to write, yours are the best in the class, I just don't want you to fail this class." She said with a caring voice.

'Thanks for the warning, I'll try and bring up the grade." He paused to look at the clock.

"Ok, you can go to lunch now." She said noticing him look at the clock.

"Thanks." Naruto said as he walked out of the classroom.

LUNCHROOM

Naruto headed straight to the lunchroom, grabbed a tray and some food, and went to the usual table. _"You can do this, put up your smile." _Naruto thought taking his seat.

"Afternoon Naruto." Temari said as Naruto took his seat.

"Afternoon, Temari." Naruto said

Naruto looked off to the side to see Shikamaru bend down and pick up five dollars and give it to the girl that dropped it. "Afternoon everyone." Shikamaru said as he took his seat next to Temari.

"Afternoon Shikamaru." Naruto said once again. Out of the corner of his eye Naruto saw the girl that Shikamaru gave the money to, walk up to their table.

"Uh, here you can have this, think of it as payment for the fun we had last night." She said with a wink and laugh before walking back to her seat.

"Uh, Shikamaru are you cheating on me." Temari joked.

"No, no I don't know her." Shikamaru said nervously.

"_Of course he's not cheating on you, but your joking and he's so embarrassed about what just happened to even tell." _Naruto thought._ "Maybe I should play along." _Naruto thought. "Jeez Shikamaru you dog, having all the girls fall over you like that." Naruto said with a fake laugh. "Man, if only…" Naruto stopped mid sentence and noticed that Shikamaru was looking upset. _"I should of just stayed out of it, but he wouldn't take it to heart. He knows I'm only joking." _Naruto just stayed quit the rest of the lunch hour.

His last two classes went by quickly, and once the last bell went off he walked straight out of the building and began to make his way to his truck.

"Hey, Naruto can you give me a ride home?" Shikamaru asked walking up behind Naruto.

Naruto turned around. "sure." Was all he said and continued his way to the truck.

"Thanks." Shikamaru said and followed.

The drive to Shikamarus was a quit one, neither spoke, they just stared straight ahead as Naruto drove. Naruto turned into the road Shikamaru lived on, and parked into Shikamarus drive way once they got to his house.

"You know I hate you right now right?" Shikamaru said in a quite voice.

Naruto turned to look at Shikamaru with wide eyes. "Why?" Naruto asked.

"Because you pull stuff like what you did at the lunch table. It's so irritating, you should really think about getting a life." Shikamaru said as he got out of the truck, he turned towards Naruto and slammed the door shut. And walked up to his house.

Naruto just sat there in shock. _'You see, everyone hates you, isn't your best friend proof enough!' _The voice yelled in his head. Naruto just shook his head and backed out of the drive way and started for home. Naruto's eyes began to feel with tears, "They all hate me." he whispered. Naruto made it home, and once he did he went straight for his room, and pulled out his knife.

'_Yes, yes torture your self make the pain go away.' _It laughed. _'All the suffering, just end it!' _it bellowed.

Naruto rolled up his sleeves, and began to cut his arms.

'_Perfect, make your self bleed for everyone, make your self forget the emotional pain.' _it said again.

"Make myself bleed…" Naruto whispered.

'_yes, make yourself bleed.' _

_**OK, HERE YOU GO PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.**_


	17. Loneliness

Loneliness.

"_I'm alone, all alone." _Naruto thinks to himself, as he sits on the swing in the cold snow. _"Nobody cares, they hate me…" _He continued as he looked up at the dark sky.

"Hey Naruto, dad wants you to call him one of these days." Narutos brother din says as he walks up behind the swing.

Naruto turned around so he could look at his brother. "Ok, tell him I'll give him a call later." Then he turned back around.

"Naruto, what happened to you?" Din asked as he took a seat next to Naruto.

Naruto just sighed at the question. "Nothing happened to me din, it's just a faze." He said give his brother a reassuring look.

Din just shook his head no, " Sakami said, that she went into your room while we where at school, and found a knife with blood on it." Din said giving his brother a worried look.

Naruto just looked back at the dark sky, "Is that so, why was she going through my room?" he asked darkly.

Din just flinched a little, "I, I don't know." he said looking at his feet.

Naruto sighed again, "Look, Din your only twelve, so you don't understand as much. But I promise everything is fine." He said giving his brother an empty smile.

Din just nodded his head and walked back inside. "I better talk to Sakami." Naruto said to himself as he watched Din close the door. "But for now, I just want to be alone and think." He said to himself as he turned back to the sky.

'_They hate you, it's never going to change.'_ The voice in the back of Naruto's head said. _'They want you to disappear. And Sakura, like you ever had a chance, she hates you the most.' _it continued. _'She probably found out about how you feel, and regrets ever talking to you. Life for them would be so much easier if you just died.' _

Naruto just squeezed his eyes shut, _"No, they don't hate me."_

'_Do you not remember what Shikamaru said, he hates you, and he is right you have no life.' _it laughed.

"_I do have a life, my friends are my life." _Naruto thought back.

'_If that's true, than why do you cut your self, why do you make your self bleed? Why did you try to kill yourself?' _It questioned.

Naruto gritted his teeth,_ "I, I don't…" _He paused.

'_That's right, you don't have the answer, but I do. Your so called friends are destroying you, the girl you have fallen for, she makes it worse.' _It laughed again.

"_No, your wrong, Sakura makes everything better." _Naruto thought desperately trying to win his internal conflict.

'_Your pathetic.' _It said, its voice fading.

"_What are you?" _Naruto wondered.

The voice just laughed, _'It's not what I am, but who." _

Naruto eyes shot wide open, "You, you cant be."

'_yes, I am you, I am your demon.' _it laughed as it completely disappeared.

"My, my demon…" Naruto whispered, he brought his hand to his chest, and put it over his cut. Even under all the clothing it still burned. "I'm a demon." he said as he closed his eyes. "A demon, deserves nothing but loneliness." He whispered.

_**RIGHT, SO HERE IT IS, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW….**_


	18. AUTHORS NOTES

**AUTHORS NOTES **

**OK, I KNOW IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE MY LAST CHPATER, AND I AM SRY TO SAY (FOR THOSE WHO LIKED MY STORY) THAT I WILL BE DISCONTINUING LIFE WE LIVE…**

**BECAUSE OF EMOTINOAL ISSUES WRITING THIS STORY CAUSES ME, SO YES LIFE WE LIVE. IS THE LIFE I'VE LIVED, AND IN AWAY I STILL AM. OTHER REASONS IS BECAUSE THE PEARSON WHO REPRESENTS SAKURA (EVEN THOUGH SHE WONT ADMIT) I CAN TELL GETS A UPSET ABOUT IT. **

**BUT I WONT LEAVE YOU WITH JUST NOTHING, I WILL POST AN ENDING TO LIFE WE LIVE. AND IF YOUR READING THIS, TAYLOR THE IMPORTANT THING IS IN THE CHAPTER… **

**BUT I THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS, I APPRECIATE IT. EVEN IF I DIDN'T GET AS MUCH AS I WANTED, I GOT SOMETHING.**


	19. LIFE WE LIVE

LIFE WE LIVE

Life, what is the meaning of it, what's the point of it, and more importantly why do we live through it? I could tell you but, but most of my life has been nothing but hate, pain, and anger. Of course it all ended when I met Sakura, I know you'd think she caused me to do self harm, and even if she did. She is the one that pulled me out of that dark place, she is the one that wished for me to be nothing but happy, literately. She gave me the power to stop with the self harm, she cared when it felt like no one else did. She was there just like a friend would be. And only as a friend, and I wouldn't ask her to nothing more if being a friend is all she wants to be. Sakura, is my important thing in life, she is my meaning, and she helps me live through it. I wouldn't ask her to be more than a friend because I love her, and I want her to be happy. I wont say that as long as she is happy I am, because that's a lie, just because someone else is happy doesn't make it to where I am as well. No to be happy, you have to be happy with someone not for them. But this was my life, a life I Naruto Uzumaki have lived, I cant say it's been the happiest but its been a life. One I wouldn't want to change. But as long as there is hope, then there is nothing that's impossible, you just have to believe. And those were the words Sakura said to me when I first told her about my problem, so just believe.

**HERE IT IS, THE ENDING TO LIFE WE LIVE, I KNOW IT'S NOT THE LONGEST. BUT I GAVE YOU SOMETHING. AND IT'S TRUE TAY, YOU ARE MY IMPORTAT THING. BUT PLEASE REVIEW FOR THE LAST TIME. **


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